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Por ahí he escuchado a gente decirme que soy detallista y me fijo en muchas cosas. Mi percepción personal es que por el contrario soy muy distraída, me la paso pensando en inmoralidades de animales de mar y cosas súper bizarras, mi cabeza es como el closet de Lady Gaga pues y por ahí también me dijeron que a mi lado esa jeva no es NADIE, piropo o insulto tomemos como cualidad adquirida, con tal yo soy un gusto adquirido.
En fin tanto marearlos cuando lo que vine a decir aquí es que me he puesto a detallar la conducta de los Americanos así como para entender muchas cosas inentendibles, por eso decidí empezar a parapetar la escritura en ingles a ver si mas gente me lee etc etc. Bueno esta gente te lee, y te lee en serio, yo no entiendo entonces porque tienen esa fama de brutos. Ustedes ponganse a pensar en que hace uno cuando llega a la playa? el latino común llega a la playa y se sirve su trago o se lanza al agua. Error!!! los gringeles se empatucan su protector 100 y sacan el libro o tomo de Stephen King y se lo lee cuando ya esta rojo por arriba y la otra mitad cuando ya esta rojo por debajo.
En todos lados hay alguno con un Kindle(wikipediar o googlear en caso de no saber), ósea yo preferiría comprarme el Ipad pero ellos pa no distrarse y la música y el internet y tal no se caen a coba y se compran su aparatico pa almacenar sus buenos libritos y te los leen en el autobus, en la parada, en el metro, en el banco, en los parques(quien va pa un parque a leer?ellos!!!) bueno habria que revisar que leen todos porque si lo que se estan mamando es Stephanie Meyer y sus sagas cooooooo tenemos una cuerda de jevos que se la pasan soñando en que los vampiros existen.
Una anécdota totalmente real me pasó buscando apartamento, las relaciones aqui solo por telefono en esos casos, nada de Facebook, no hay chance de estoquiar quien te va a enseñar tu nueva casa. Pues llego al punto de encuentro y la jevita que sonaba con voz de "xoxo gossip girl" termino pareciendo Kelly Osbourne pero SIN LOS 2 DIENTES DELANTEROS gracias. La pobre criatura vivia en un estudio con 2 amigas mas y no tenian camas!!! les explico para el que no sepa lo que es un estudio: cocina+baño+closet en el mismo lugar osea si cocinas un huevo a menos de un metro esta tu cama, ni contarte si tienes un roommate asiatico o arabe y le provoco comerte comida casera. Estas 3 jevas dormian como sobre desastricos que ellas llamaban "camas" yo las vi como Sleeping bags adulterados o pimpeados.
Hay tantas características que no se ni por donde empezar, pero la que mas me llama la atención y ya todos la saben pero debo nombrarla: es la capacidad de andar en chola a bajas temperaturas, en los aviones los veía y de turistas y eso, yo juraba que ah bueno ellos creen que van a la selva o al trópico pero NO, aquí bastaba que subieran 5 grados y ya ellos en chores y chola, Abby por supuesto en bufanda y demás. Es que me provoca pararlos y preguntarles el secretico, ni en crosssss y media te ando yo aquí a 15 grados! Creo que eso viene dado por la siguiente característica que voy a señalar que es que: Se emocionan por absolutamente TODO. Eres de Venezuela? WOAHHHH how cool!!! where is that? what do you eat? jajajajajajaja ven a los Jonas Brothers y los sacan hasta en el pote de ketchup, mueren de risa con Tina Fey y Bob Esponja. Claaaaro que se emocionan por todo son gente feliz, ni lo critico ni nada, creo que los envidio mas que todo y apunto esta observación porque quisiera comprender mas cosas algún día. Poco a poco.
Asi como los detallo poquito a poquito me doy cuenta que son felices porque lo tienen todo sin pagar(jaaaa claro si los matan los taxes) pero así como saben que lo tienen todo ignoran mil detalles como, en el caso mas simple, en una tienda: cuando están oliendo las fragancias escogiendo digamos, por ejemplo, de desodorante pues ese desodorante que te llevaste a la nariz hubo un promedio de 15 personas que hicieron eso desde que llego al almacén, y si no te gusto pues si a esas 15 personas tampoco les gusto jajaajaja. Yo pensé que esto solo nos ocurría a las mujeres pero pues NO detallé que los hombres también son pickys en este caso, es decir a la hora de escoger la fragancia.
Otro caso es en la tienda, la ropa que tu te mediste después del trabajo todo sudado porque decidiste pasar a comprarte algo, pues esa prenda que te estas viendo en el espejo probablemente también se la probo algún gordito sin bañarse o que venia de la playa o de mojarse con lluvia radioactiva, jajajaja si si si y uno la compra. Ni hablar de si fuiste a un outlet o una baratija tipo H&M o Forever 21, ropa REQUETE usada. Ellos son ignorantes, por eso son felices! Capaz no les importa si fueron a Taiger(TARGET) y pagaron una miseria, no les importa si la indu que atiende el restaurant de comida rapida o seven y leven(jijijijiji) vino y se probo la misma chaqueta y NO la compro para poder comprar mas curri para la cena.
La comida, ese es a whoooole new deal, sabes cuantas papas refritas o recicladas comemos? ya yo me meti en el paquete, hay que hacerse la vista gorda porque sino el "fast food mode" del vivir aqui no te lleva, te amargaria y te succionaria. Queda para entregas posteriores. Seguire detallando…
"Cualquier cosa"
English:
So, many times I've try this before, and just to lose some of my little group of readers that actually follow me step by step I'm going to try this in the language that it is, just to be fair. Countdowns, lists, paragraphs, cannot describe what I'm about to write about: "American Behavior".
From time to time I've heard that I pay attention to details. My personal believe is that do not, I'm very distracted, I spend my time thinking about immortality and bizarre stuff, my head is like Lady Gaga´s closet, and I've been told too that Gaga is NOBODY next to my madness, compliment or insult I don't care let’s take it as a given characteristic.
What I'm trying to say here is that sometimes I can detail the behavior of people, here we are to speak about Americans (and God please save me if they read this, even though I don't believe in you) just to see if I can understand the un-understandable, that's why I decided to take a shot writing in English just so more people can read me, like my new friends. Well this people READ, and they seriously read, then I don't get it, why are they famous for being Dumb? just take a minute and think what do you do first when you get to the beach? any beach in the world? the normal Latin person when he or her gets to the beach, would look for a drink and go to the water immediately. WRONG!!!!! an American would cover him or herself with 100 sun block on his or her skin and they take out their Stephen King really thick book and they would read until they're red from top to bottom.
Everywhere I see people using Kindles (Google it if u don't know) and I would rather have the iPad but they don't like to distract their reading (my bad) with internet, music, photos, etc, they buy that special device to carry hundreds of books around the city: on the bus, bus stop, train, bank, parks (yes they read in the park). Well we just have to see what are they reading about because if what they're reading is Stephanie Meyer and her Twilight saga DAMN, then we have a bunch of people believing in vampires. Something "funny" or "funky" that happened to me while looking for an apartment, I was talking on the phone with the girl that was showing the place and she sounded like "Xoxo gossip girl" and she turned out to be a Kelly Osbourne lookalike but without her 2 front teeth, thank you!!!!! the poor thing lived in a studio apartment with two of her friends and they didn't even have BEDS, for you guys that are not familiar with what a studio apartment, it is: kitchen+bathroom+closet in the same place, if you cook and egg you would have your bed like 6 foots away. This 3 girls were sleeping on sleeping bags with clothes on that I called "little messes", they were like "pimped up sleeping bags".
There are so many characteristics that I don't even know where to start, but the one that calls my attention the most: their capacity to use sandals and flip flops under low temperatures. On airplanes I used to watch them as tourist and stuff, and I said to myself "well they're on vacation and they're going to the jungle or the beach, nice" but NO here it would only take 5 more degrees and they put their flip flops and shorts on. Abby, of course, is wearing scarf and so on. Some times I wanna stop them and ask "how do you do it?????? tell me the secret" not even with Crocs I would be out in this 15 degrees CELSIUS. I think the reason is what I'm about to realize here and is that: they get excited about EVERYTHING. "Are you from Venezuela? woaaaah how cool! where is that? what do u eat?" hahahahahahaha they see Justin Beiber and the Jonas Brothers and they put their faces on the ketchup, they laugh their ass off with Tina Fey and Sponge Bob. But of course they get excited because they are happy people, I don't criticize it or anything, I think that I envy them and I write down all this because I want to understand more someday. Little by little.
I can tell that they are happy because they have everything without payments, only thousands in debt(haaaaa of course taxes are killing them) but at the same time anyone is aware of some issues like this: in a store when you are smelling the fragrances, choosing them you know, for example the deodorants, that sample you took to your nose, well, there's a chance that maybe 15 other people did the same "smelling" process before you did after the product got in stock, and if you didn't like it well neither those people hahahahaha. I thought that this was something that only the ladies did but HELL NO I've seen many guys and they are as picky as we are, I mean at the time of choosing a fragrance.
Another case is when clothes shopping, that cloth you tried on after work and sweating, just because you decided to buy something, well that single piece of cloth that you are looking how it fits you, that particular piece has already been used on some fat guy or girl that won’t take a bath before going to the store either! maybe he was on the beach, or got all wet with the rain. yeah yeah yeah and then you go and buy it anyways. I'm not even mentioning if you go to an outlet, H&M or Forever 21, we are buying USED cloth. Ignorance is bliss, that's why they are soooo happy. maybe they don't care, or we don't care, if we go to TIGER(target) and they paid a misery, we don't care if an indian lady that works on a fast food restaurant or in a SEVEN Y LEVEN(jijijijijijiji) came and tried on the same jacket and DID NOT buy it just so she can't buy curry for dinner.
Food is a whoooole new deal, do you guys know how many refried and recycled french fries we eat every time? I'm already in! we just have to go along with the "fast food way" of living, if not it would put you down and suck you out. I would talk about that and other observations in other posts. I'll keep watching…